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All right folks, time for this week's romp through the wonders of Greek philosophy. Heraclitus was a pre-Socratic philosopher, which means to say he was one of the thinkers who came before the progressively logical thinker who made possible lawyer folk like Lionel and Ron Kuby!

That's right, today is Crying-Philosopher day. Give it up for Heraclitus, the man who said you can't step in the same river twice. And while we all know that (right?), OJ Simpson seems to have just found out.

The Big H also said "character is fate." He said it a gazillion years ago, but it still bears true. 

Simpson and his codefendant, Clarence Stewart, were both convicted on all 12 counts. As the court clerk read "guilty" 24 times shortly before 11 p.m., Simpson grimaced and then nodded slightly, quickly regaining his composure.

Barring the sort of miracle the Juice can no longer afford, he's going to spend the rest of his life in prison.

The Los Angeles Times covers the story we couldn't possibly tell and evidenced by the present exercise in avoidance.

Another pre-Socratic theory comes to mind, a paradox concocted by Zeno of Elea constructed to support yet another position held by P armenides who said "all is one." These guys were both peerish with Heraclitus (like erstwhile OJ pal Kato Kaelin and latterday accomplice Clarence Stewart). Aristotle sums it up nicely in the Physics:

If everything when it occupies an equal space is at rest, and if that which is in locomotion is always occupying such a space at any moment, the flying arrow is therefore motionless.

And so is No. 32, the Juiciest running back ever. He is going to be motionless for the rest of his unnecessarily, unrelentingly disappointing, irretrievable life. And that'll learn all yous who say we don't have stories to rival the ones from Greek mythology. Hm!