The Official Rachel Maddow Show 2007 State of the Union Drinking Game

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The Official Rachel Maddow Show 2007 State of the Union Drinking Game

By Rachel Maddow

Tonight brings us the 7^th George W. Bush State of the Union Address. With the national approval ratings for the president now only slightly higher than the national approval ratings for herpes lesions, many Americans are facing the prospect of missing this important speech because they feel like they can’t stomach the sight or sound of the man.

I feel your pain.

To make the State of the Union more palatable, I hereby submit to you, the the Official “Rachel Maddow Show” State of the Union 2007 Drinking Game:

How to play:

Call some friends and co-workers and ask if they’ll watch the speech with you. If you plan to watch in a bar or restaurant, call ahead to make sure they’ll put the speech on for you – the odds (literally) are that the bartender hates Bush as much as the rest of the country, and he or she may not be planning on showing it unless you ask. Bring a print-out of these guidelines, so you know when to drink.

What to drink:

Beer is the traditional choice for this game. Near-beer is better than it used to be if you’re not drinking these days (sorry). If you hate beer but desire booze, try a half-strength highball – put one ounce of your favorite elixir (bourbon, gin, vodka, scotch, cognac, even tequila) in a glass full of ice, and top it all the way up with seltzer, tonic or soda.

When to drink:

If a TV commentator mentions Nancy Pelosi’s outfit or hairstyle – drink once.

If a TV commentator mentions Dick Cheney’s or George W. Bush’s outfit or hairstyle – drink twice.

Standing ovation by both Democrats and Republicans – drink once.

Standing ovation by only Republicans – drink twice.

Standing ovation by only Democrats, yell “It’s a trick! It’s a trick! Don’t believe him!” and drink half of what’s in your glass.

If the president is caught on camera kissing any member of Congress – drink once.

If the person he’s caught kissing is Joe Lieberman again, gargle your drink and try to make yourself barf a little.

Any mention of Saddam Hussein – drink once.

Any mention of the president of Iran – drink once.

If the president actually tries to pronounce the name of the president of Iran – drink twice.

Announcement of a troop increase for Afghanistan – drink twice.

Mention by name of any American killed or wounded in Iraq - drink once, and make an online donation to Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America

Any mention of ethanol – drink once.

Any mention of “clean coal” – drink once.

Any reference to the 72 American miners killed on the job last year – drink twice.

A presidential shout-out to Michael J. Fox – drink once.

Any mention of “compassion” – drink once.

Any obscure Biblical reference – drink once.

Any mention of New Orleans – drink once, and think about making plans to visit New Orleans sometime in the next six months.

That’s this year’s game. You may want to print out this list for yourself ahead of time – you can also add any other expected Bushisms that drive you nuts.

Pick a designated driver, of course. Drink water. Take ibuprofen. Recommit to reclaiming your country.

Rachel

UPDATE: Now posted at Huffington Post.

January 23, 2007
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I recommend...

...just hitting yourself over the head with a bottle, right at the beginning. It will probably hurt less overall.

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By capn_crustyJanuary 23, 2007 - 2:32pm

Another rule

Nancy Pelosi bops Dick Cheney with her gavel, then throws it at George Bush -- finish your drink and run out in the street and cheer.

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By chemgirlJanuary 23, 2007 - 5:14pm

I might...

...drop off the wagon for that one!

:cheese:

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By capn_crustyJanuary 23, 2007 - 5:30pm

What about shell game when W conflates 9-11 & Iraq ??

How many drinks for that drivel ??

Shit, you'll be drunk within the first 15 minutes!

He'll conflate Iraq with so-called "war on Terror" (implying false linkage with 9-11) 10 times in first 10 minutes!

Only con zombie cretins buy this drivel! You know, the 20%ers.

;-p

Watch what cons DO, not what cons SAY !!! (Hypocrisy)

Exposing the CON in CONservative !!!

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By AfricaBambaJanuary 23, 2007 - 5:45pm

Drinking game makes me a little squeamish

You've got a fair amount of references to alcohol in your blogs. I just don't want you to get sued because you were advocating drinking and drink recipes. Still, I see where you say to use a designated driver, use 1/2 strength drinks, don't drink alcohol at all, etc. so its all right.

Perhaps it just shaves close to the bone for me and my own drinking problems (spillage, knee-walking, falling on floor). And not that Bush couldn't drive one to drink anyway!!

I'm still angry that WWRC 1260 sliced your show in half here in D.C. I agree with others that CC does not care about Progressive Talk in Washington. I wish you could do something about it, or that you could even respond and let me know you've read this.

'Til then, I'll listen on the Internet.

Dave

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By Alpine JoyJanuary 23, 2007 - 6:47pm

Dave

Please feel more than free to continue to let WWRC know how you feel about them dropping one hour of the show -- ask your friends to call, too! It's a local station decision -- one I regret, of course, but not one I can control.

With thanks,
Rachel

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By Rachel MaddowJanuary 23, 2007 - 6:48pm

Kisses...

The mere thought of GWB kissing anyone, let alone Lieberman, would send me right over the edge. There is no ATTEMPTING to hurl after that. Excuse me as I must know go attempt to poke out my minds eye with a dull object.

-j

"We must not confuse dissent with disloyalty. When the loyal opposition dies, I think the soul of America dies with it." -Edward R. Murrow

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By parker1024January 23, 2007 - 7:20pm

Hey Rachel.

What Im wondering about Bush's speech is will he fill the pauses with his usual liars ticks and tells, or will he attempt to pull off a botox impersonation like in the last one. I noticed how much he was trying not to be noticed trying to not let those spazms he has be noticable...and thought it was just funny as shit that a guy in his position, at his age, cant control his own face without someone telling him he ought to, because it looks bad. Which you know someone had to. I mean we arent talking Micheal J here, Bush seriously laughs at death and his own diabolical little plans(the"inner snickering" he does) and someone had to tell him to check himself, and thats just sad. If he laughs at quotes like "War on Terror" on camera, it shows he has no self control, but if he stands uneasy, and trembling because hes trying to hold a straight face, but cant very well, it shows hes not controlling himself, someone else is.

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By madgardenerJanuary 23, 2007 - 7:23pm

liz cheney

Talk about a family of attack dogs!

PHUCK BIPARTANSHIP! :coolmad: Join NYPD for Free Parking and Target Practice on Unarmed Black Men

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By BaScOmBeJanuary 23, 2007 - 7:47pm

Not having a teevee machine...

...I will not be watching Dub babble this eve. Nor is it likely that I shall be listening, despite being awash in radios and internets tubes. This SOTU address will no doubt be the usual lies, distortions, and just plain crap; so why bother? However, should the Pinhead in Chief sneak in something genuinely newsworthy--like, say, the immediate tendering of his resignation--well, I'm sure I'll hear about it tomorrow.

So enjoy the booziness, ya'll.

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By capn_crustyJanuary 23, 2007 - 7:52pm

Luntz tells Dems to be nice

By: Steve @ 2:05 PM - PST

GOP pollster Frank Luntz has been advising conservative Republicans for years on how to exploit language to smear Dems and win elections. It was Luntz, for example, who teamed up with Newt Gingrich to shape the Contract with America in 1994.

And now, Luntz has taken to the pages of the Huffington Post to offer the left some advice: don’t act like his Republican clients.

I am not in the habit of offering partisan linguistic advice to Democrats. But in the genuine spirit of bipartisanship - seriously - I thought this is the perfect time to convey a simple point to the still-euphoric faces of Democrat activists: Don’t twist the knife. […]

Democracy is at its best when its practioners use language to unite and explain rather than divide and attack…. We need an intelligent debate, not a sound-bite contest.

Given Luntz's record, this just doesn't make any sense.

PHUCK BIPARTANSHIP! :coolmad: Join NYPD for Free Parking and Target Practice on Unarmed Black Men

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By BaScOmBeJanuary 23, 2007 - 7:52pm

Bush Betrays Our Soldiers Yet Again

Bush Betrays Our Soldiers Yet Again: Defense Department officials have laid off most of their case workers who help severely injured service members, sources said.

PHUCK BIPARTANSHIP! :coolmad: Join NYPD for Free Parking and Target Practice on Unarmed Black Men

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By BaScOmBeJanuary 23, 2007 - 8:20pm

Waco!

I knew it. Bush is Koresh's cousin! Bush will be there showing it to his friends one day in the future, "Uh, yeah, this wing is dedicated to Emmas kid, Dave. You know I was the only one who believed in him,". -"But he thought he was Jesus and raped 10 year olds and killed American federal agents!". Bush-,"He sure did guys, he sure did.".

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By madgardenerJanuary 23, 2007 - 8:27pm

Oh, this is a point I thought up while my power was out.

What the hell does Bush know about military startagy and what qualifies him to be the commander and chief of the armed forces. What if he, doesnt know what a good idea or bad idea is. He looks a ten choices and then picks the one he likes or is sold to him the best. Well, what if the guy he trust the most is an idiot? And what if the guy, who is an experienced military stratagist and consciencious but efficient warrior took Bush's parking spot back in 98 or something so Bush never listens to him? Shouldnt the commander and chief be like, Brad Pitt from Gladiator instead of Jimmy Swaggert on meth? Shouldnt Bush have a vision, but when it comes to how to achieve the goal militarily, unless he is an experienced soldier or pilot whos seen combat,should Bush just keep his mouth shut? Bush could be like,"You generals, you guys handle it, thats why I hired you,", and things would actually be better in Iraq! Thats when his lack of management skills where he lets all the lower bosses in his organization run things and fight amongst themselves would actually be better than his interviening or advising.

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By madgardenerJanuary 23, 2007 - 8:39pm

by madgardener at January 23, 2007 - 7:39pm

:lol:

that's russel crowe in gladiolas

:lol:

PHUCK BIPARTANSHIP! :coolmad: Join NYPD for Free Parking and Target Practice on Unarmed Black Men

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By BaScOmBeJanuary 23, 2007 - 8:54pm

not a bad hobby but...

My health will restrict me to one bomber and for those of you whose health is also a little frail I recommend mini sips. Drink hearty for me you young and healthy folks out there. Drink while you can!

I won't be watching - I'll be listening on the radio.

The visuals would be too much for me.

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By Sasa55January 23, 2007 - 8:55pm

Right,

Troy. Confused the movies. I read the Odyssy in highschool, then the Illiad on my own skimming through most of it.

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By madgardenerJanuary 23, 2007 - 8:58pm

by madgardener at January 23, 2007 - 7:58pm

I liked Brad better in "Snatch".

PHUCK BIPARTANSHIP! :coolmad: Join NYPD for Free Parking and Target Practice on Unarmed Black Men

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By BaScOmBeJanuary 23, 2007 - 9:00pm

Scant evidence found of Iran-Iraq arms link

U.S. warnings of advanced weaponry crossing the border are overstated, critics say. By Alexandra Zavis and Greg Miller. http://email.latimes.com/cgi-bin1/DM/y/eBG7G0Kcvqc0G2B0IGgi0EH

PHUCK BIPARTANSHIP! :coolmad: Join NYPD for Free Parking and Target Practice on Unarmed Black Men

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By BaScOmBeJanuary 23, 2007 - 8:58pm

Guess what I just remembered.

My cables still out, I can watch a fuzzy president on antenna, but I forgot, we have no TV right now. Garshk. Talk to ya later all.

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By madgardenerJanuary 23, 2007 - 9:05pm

Only one more SotU...must live to see 2009...

It's an ode to cognitive dissonance party inside Bush's head and ya'lls invited! Don't you like the way he's taking credit for things Pelosi's already doing?

Right now he's telling everyone's life story. There are 299,999,997 left to go so it might take a while.

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By viedmaJanuary 23, 2007 - 11:02pm

Donation to IAVA

Per Rachel's instructions, I made a donation to IAVA. What can I say? I do what Rachel says. :)

Seriously, it was a good idea and it's a good cause.

One more year of Bush delivering the SOTU, unless something very interesting happens...

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By MichelleDLRJanuary 23, 2007 - 11:08pm

with CNN.com and the T1 connection who needs TV?

Rachel, I think you'll like this: http://www.nytimes.com/ref/washington/20070123_STATEOFUNION.html

"It's clearly a budget. It's got a lot of numbers in it." --Bush. Reuters, May 5, 2000

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By well_behaved_womenJanuary 23, 2007 - 11:29pm

Drinking Game

What were we supposed to drink when Jim Webb spoke?

Love, HR

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By Half RepublicanJanuary 23, 2007 - 11:51pm

Re: Drinking game

I think Bush was drinking during Webb's rebuttal.

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By viedmaJanuary 23, 2007 - 11:56pm

Good game

I reached my weeknight 2-beer limit halfway through the speech. Admittedly, Bush uttering the words "Madame Speaker" brought on a joyful chug that consumed half of beer #1.

Jim Webb kicked ass! AND mentioned New Orleans... Jazzfest, anyone?

:coolsmile:

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By NJSharonJanuary 24, 2007 - 12:03am

Bush & Cheney play too!

I didn't watch the original speech because I can't take Bush sober. So I got drunk and now I'm watching a repeat of the SOTU. At one point I was still playing the drinking game and took a swig because Bush said "clean coal" and right after, Bush and Cheney took a sip from their glasses as well! Actually made me laugh at the coincidence.

So far, I am ready to kick in my tv. I can't stand listening to this cow caca. As my mom used to say "you must be talking out your ass because your mouth knows better." This statement holds true when it comes to this president!

*UPDATE* I turned it off. I couldn't take the lies anymore! I'm not going to smash the tv I just bought over this man.