For twenty years Lionel Vision kept her virginity; not a bad record for this vicinity.

Today marks the start of a new feature on the Lionel Show blog, everybody! Below please find today’s Sound Sheet, curated and written by one Juice Yuen. That’s right! Everybody’s favorite Sino-Gaelic sound engineer writes a daily sheet so full of pith and wit it’ll make your head spin! This document is a laundry list (sorry, Juice) of all the audio you need to hear.

SOUND CLIPS FOR THURSDAY, JULY 24, 2008

ASSHAT ALERT!

1. I’M PUTTING WORDS TOGETHER BUT I AM MAKING NO SENSE – BECK (:40)

A Day in the Life, or Asshats Will Out

By Dermott McQuestionmark

It never fails. Each morning, we of The Lionel Show crew sit in the office and bandy ideas about, groping for provocative and edifying topics for the day. Sometimes the same old themes just don’t excite. The run-of-the-mill comments from the familiar talking heads sound like just so much chin music, possessed of neither sound nor fury. The political scene begins to look like one long, drawn-out argument, with the only clear goal being perpetuation of the argument itself. Sometimes, we’re sick and tired of being sick and tired. The bloom, it seems, is off the rose, and the day stretches before us with no promise of redemption or transcendence. We sit. We wait. We wait for that spark.

Which do you think is more important: another McCain gaffe about Iraq or that Obama still does not support le surge...despite the fact that most Americans do. So how does Obama, whose goal, and ours, is to get to the White House, convince Joe Six Pack to vote for him despite they being on opposite ends on this issue. That's what really matters.

by Dermott “Curly” Mulrooney

MISSPEAKING-GATE 2008! CONTROVERSIAL CONFUSION! LACK OF VERBAL VERACITY! TERMINAL TRUTHLESNESS! FACT-FUDGING FOOT-IN-MOUTH DISEASE CLAIMS YET ANOTHER HIGH-PROFILE VICTIM!

THE HAWKISHLY CONSERVATIVE, WAR-MONGERING PSEUDO-EMPEROR HAS NO CLOTHES! HE’S FACTUALLY AS NAKED AS HE CAME! HIS MILITARY PONTIFICATION HAS BEEN REVEALED AS NOTHING MORE THAN A SOILED BIRTHDAY SUIT OF BEFUDDLED IGNORANCE!!!

SURELY LIBERALISM HAS WON THE DAY!